Saturday, November 05, 2005

I hate Rugby

For those of you uninitiated people, the UK is basically four countries united by hundreds of years' of infighting. (Scotland, England, Wales and Northern Ireland)

People claim -although some historians disagree- that the Welsh are the indigenous people of this land; akin to the American Indians and Australian Aborigine.
To be frank, I couldn't care less if we are, or are not. What I do care about is that I was born, bred and live to this day in Wales. I speak the lingo a bit, but I'm not fluent.

It has long been held (mostly by the Welsh but by others who wish to stereotype us) that ALL Welsh people:
  • Are good singers
  • Are short; and ginger of head
  • Live like Trolls in a cave
  • Untrustworthy
  • Drink too much
  • We shag sheep
  • (and worse of all) we all like Rugby.

My answer to these are:

  • Have you heard Charlotte Church lately? Can't hold a tune in a bucket.
  • Ok, got me on that one.
  • We now have electricity in our caves so we now call them apartments.
  • No, we're not, trust me
  • Ok, got me on that one too
  • Er...
  • Oh no we fucking don't.

I hate living here when we have an international rugby match playing. For weeks before, our national newspaper, The Western Mail has it on the front page as well as several of the sport's pages. The front page for God's sake! The local news has endless interviews with fuckwit, ex players who can just about pronounce their own name -let alone conduct a lucid chat; We have mini dramas between programs showing idiotic fans with large daffodils; and that twat, Max Boyce, sings crappy comedy songs.

WHY?

The game is played by dunces, whose greatest collective achievement is sticking their heads between each others' arse and falling over.

The game is watched by overweight lardarses whose main ambition is to wave at themselves when on camera. And that's just the women. (the guys are too stupid to do two things at once. i.e. wave and stand up)

And if that doesn't put you off, there is always Eddie fucking Butler! What a git.

I really can't see why the game is so revered in this country -it's not as if we are any good at it.

More people watch Cardiff City soccer team train than actually go to a first-class rugby club game in Cardiff.

So, in winding up my rant I would like to offer this: You can abuse me as much as you want; you can call me untrustworthy; you can insult my cave; you can say I speak a dying language. But please, please, please, do not call me a rugby supporter.

2 comments:

Kid Ric said...

Great post. I'd say that about says it all. Hahaha.

Peace, love and light.

AlianaDrex said...

I love your blog. It has made me smile this morning. I got as far down as this one and had to comment. I'll be back later to read the rest.
Ali