Tagged

Molly, love her sweet heart, "tagged" me the other day. This means that you have to list 5 interesting "facts" about yourself. I know it's not law but i thought i'd join in anyway.

1) Up until the age of 16, i had an imaginary dog called Fido. Fido came with me everywhere -including school. Fido tended to get me in trouble but i managed to fool some of the more... stupid teachers into believing that Fido was real. I would bark, open the door, and let Fido out of the classroom at regular intervals. Some of the teachers would open the door to see where the dog had gone. D'oh.
When i was about 7, we were on our way on holiday when i made my Dad stop, open the door of the car, and let Fido in because i had forgotton him.

2) I had the chance of a promising career as a professional football player. Playing in the local league, i was "spotted" by a scout from Cardiff City and asked for trials. Long story short, i didn't go because i was on holiday. Reality is, i had found cigarettes, drink, and shagging. I was also hanicapped with a burst eardrum from a smack around the head from my Maths teacher "Killer" Curtis. No doubt i was being cheeky but i have always blamed it on Fido. That fucking dog.

3)I once kissed a bloke -tongues and everything. In my defence, i did know the bloke and we are still good friends. Some of you more broadminded people out there will say, that's cool, being gay is ok. If only it was like that. The reason we did it was we tried to get two girls to kiss and they said, only if you do first. Being rather perverted and pissed, we agreed. Needless to say, they didn't keep their side of the bargain.

4)When on a drinking binge in Swansea one night. Our minibus had left without me and my mate. (the one mentioned above) While we were working out how to get home (some 20 miles away) i was caught short in the toilet department. Not a wee wee but a dump. (english vernacular for shit). Anyway, no public toilets available but plenty of boats in the harbour. I climbed aboard and did the business over the side. In the meantime my mate had gone walkabout, found a wallet with £30 in it.

So two apologies. If you returned to your boat one morning only to find your flag was used as toilet paper; or if you lost a wallet and £30 -sorry.

5) It's my birthday today and i'm 47. I hate having birthdays apart from the pressies and getting spoilt.My brain feels 27, but my body feels 57. I have one shaved leg, a bald patch (not a big one though)dodgy knees, i smoke too much and don't drink enough. I have good friends, a great family and life at the moment is good.

Sorry for the boring facts but i did warn people that i'm not that interesting.