The Who are on tour. Yippee. Tickets are expensive. Booo.I have to re-mortgage the house and put the kids into service with the local pimp to pay for the fucking things. That's if you can get them in the first place. No sooner have Ticketbastard.co.uk sold out, scalpers on ebay are offering them at extortionate prices. How the promoters allow this is beyond me.
Take a leaf out of Robbie Williams' book and make them available through The Who's site and get people's names typed on the ticket to stop this.
Anyway, as stupid as i am, i will be going to Liverpool and Bristol to see them and now have to earn some money to pay for it.
Disregarding the kids being available ( i think that's illegal) I will now be offering my body for the following.
* Sex -any blind person needing a shag -i'm ready. Or if needed for a S&M club i could bring the drinks around in PVC hot pants.
* Science - any doctor needing a body part for an up-and-coming transplant leave a message but keep in mind the following caveats.
Lungs -slightly tarnished with smoke.
Liver -still slightly tipsy due to Guinness -should dry out within a week.
Bladder- works ok but a bit full as I type this. Wait a minute...Ok, empty now.
Brain - I have one of sorts but I suggest not giving it to another scientist or similar academic.
Heart- Yes I have one but it belongs to someone else. (throws up in nearest bucket at the sentimentality)
Penis - This must go to someone/something really deserving. I.e. elephant, retiring racehorse, porn star etc. It would be a waste on anything else. (if anyone i know reads this they will not recognise the above description)
* Museum - Welsh museum of natural life, if you are interested, i can stand still for long periods and not smile when children poke me. (even without a stick up my arse)
So, you lucky people, give me a shout and grab what you want while it still functions.
Then again, i could always advertise on Ebay.
8 comments:
I begged my doc, during surgery, to go ahead and remove a kidney so I could sell it to support my daughter's ballet habit. No such luck. But maybe they would for Who tickets. I would have to advise against the standing there with the stick up your arse. Though I have not tried it personally, I know alot of pepople with a stick up their arse and they would have no fun at a Who concert anyway. I, however have never been to a Who concert and with five kids to feed doubt I could swing it. You will have to let me live vicariously through you.
xx
Ali
P.S.- No burly hocky player or girly speed skaters needed. You make me smile all the time. That is much better!
Ha,ha, delbut, I'm afraid I'll have to do the same, as I got tickets for both Liverpool gigs too.....I don't know what I'm going to do, I'll have to pick my tambourine and play in the underground stations to get some money, he,he
Hope to see you there.
Love,
Elena
XXXXXX
Del,
You always make me smile. I'd love to help, but I'm paying in Euros for the Berlin show. The Canadian dollar is not on par with the Euro, so it was quite steep. And then there's that little matter of the flight...
Cheers,
AM
Hi Del,
So far, I'm going to Berlin. We are flying to and from Europe via the UK because of my brother's BA connection, so I may stay in and around London during the trip. We're not quite into planning the actual itinerary yet, but I'll let you know how it all eventually pans out. If I do hit the UK, I hope to get together with some blogger friends. That would be nice.
Cheers,
AM
I never swear on blogger...but holy shit you have me rolling!!!! ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is so YOU! LOVE IT! S&M Club...oh boy! LOL
ok enough with the "!"'s Have a fab day working the corner lol.
XX-Molly
PS I AM hosting the chat for ITA series 2! Come chat babe!!
Ha Ha,
I suppose I will be in the same situation when The Who come to the US :)
Take Care
--Kara
Oh you are too funny Delbut.
I will be selling my blood for Who tix AND I have my heart set on a photo of Pete taken during the Tommy recording sessions...it's only $500 - but of course, it's a MUST have.
I'll be shopping at the Salvation Army for awhile I guess...
See you later - maybe in Molly's chatroom!
Bex was right, you are a very naughty man! ;)
Hi Delbut, I think I'd like to hire you to be a "server" at a S&M party. The PVC would be a good touch.
Cheers,
Brina
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