St Dwynwen

It's valentine's day today. In Wales we also have our own version: St Dwynwen's Day.(26th January) She is the patron Saint of Luurve.

Instead of giving cards,flowers,chocolates,blowjobs etc., to celebrate we have certain courting rituals, which are centuries old.

The women must (in order to demonstrate their feelings for us men):

Ride a donkey naked accross the village green -backwards- while singing, "Does my Ass look big in this?" (popular Welsh folk song c.1205 (that's a date, not the time))

Once the Donkey has tired, the lady has to milk it and offer the proceeds to her lover's nephew's uncle. If he chooses not to slurp from the bucket of love, then her advance can not...advance any further without the intervention of the courts.

If he does partake in the creamy libation then she can then dance the dance of the merry virgin, the steps of which are closely watched. This is because if the lady isn't a virgin then it will be possible to tell so from the movement in her hips. One wrong move and it's all over.

The men, on the other hand, have to demonstrate his intentions by putting Daffodils in every orifice, wrapping himself in the leaf of the leak and tying it with baling twine. He is then delivered by horse and trap to the rear entrance of her mother's house and once unwrapped, dangling his knob out while jumping on one leg.

I don't know the outcome if this doesn't work as there are no recorded failiures! Come on, how could you girlies refuse that?

Anyway, here is a picture of St Dwynwen. Obviously, she is still able to dance the dance of the virgin; who'd give that one?