HELP

Peeps. Help! I'm writing this by candlelight so the verger doesn't cop on to my surruptitious typing. There's not much of the wick left, though. I think the nuns have been using them for something bordering on pornographic. Can someone write them a letter to say my dog's ill or something? i need to get out of here. they are fucking CRAZEEEEEEEEE.

Ok, i know God was good an and all that and his Son -yeah, the one who got birthed by a woman who never had sex -(OK, don't think we swallowed that one (alough, perhaps her husband did. Stupid twat)) was a bit of a wizard in the getting blokes off their arse and walking again department, but Woahhhh. Hold them donkeys going to Bethlehem and back the Oxen back a bit dude. Why is playig strip-poker with the nunnettes a sin? Jeez.

Back to the letter. Please help me. I can leave of my own volition, but not until i've completed the baptism course. Apparently, just holding the babies by the feet and dipping them in is no longer practised. and i failed it the second time by asking the busty lady to take her top off. If i fail the third time, i have to re-sit the whole thing again.

Please write to:

Father A. Part
Head of training and cleansing of the soul
Church of the early dawn
Rue de B'stard
Gran ville
Brittany
Spears
france

p.s.
Just to let you know so it doesn't get chucked straight in the flames of hell.

They know me not as brother Delbut but, Mathew: verses 13-16.

Ok, must go. Communal shower time.

Love

Delbut
xxx