Heaven

Just a short one. (two in one day is pushing it a bit)

No word of a lie but there is a nasal spray -PT.141 -which has been developed, which is like Viagra, but for women. Apparantly, it stimulates the women and gets them, UP FOR IT!!!!

I know a bloke who lives down the road and he is a bit of a chemist. (He has his own drug factory) I will now be working very closely with him to turn the afformentioned spray into an aftershave. This is going to be dynamite.

Now go and read the cat one, below.

Lazy Bastard

My cat, Spiffey has become such a lazy pussy, that she expects me to push her around on this thing. The skateboard, usually used as prosthetic for my disability of one leg shorter than the other two, has been snatched off me by her and the rest of the "gang". The "gang" consists of two, like-minded moggies -both of whom are reaching pensionable age - a badger, a chicken and a ferret called Dunbar.

I know for a fact that the only reason that the chicken is in the gang is for foodstuff. They are feeding her up and getting her fit so at a later date they will pounce. Those guys are heartless.

Anyway, once the prey has been identified -usually little cute field mice or a mole or two - Spiffey expects me to push her around the garden chasing after them. It's ok down hill but at my age, the uphill pushing (ooer) is a bit of a struggle.

I have spent time designing an engine to put on the back from Baked Bean tins, a small fan and a vibrator i found in the local park but the cat can't afford the petrol to run it and someone left me a note saying they needed the vibrator back. (It was unsigned but it looks like my mum's writing.)

I am now designing a cradle to put around Tommy-the-dog's neck so he can pull her. It will make a nice change to see the cat's nose in the dog's arse, for a change.

Anyway, have to go because she just walked in and is rubbing against my leg. That's normally a sign she wants feeding. Why my wife just cant ask like a normal person, i don't know.

More photos

Who Convention 2006

Went to the Who convention yesterday. Must say it was a bloody good event. "Conventions" are usually looked upon as a saddo event where people dress up in Star Trek outfits or Dr Who alien costumes. I normally wouldn't be seen dead at such a waste of human effort. Not so the Who convention. OK, there were a few people there who could bore the prick of a well-endowed donkey, but in the main it was a good day out. There were two tribute bands (of whom it could be said that they indeed dress up in Who outfits a la Trekkies -but i will forgive them for that)who (pun intended) did a stirling job in front of a not overly enthusiastic crowd to start. Highlight for me were The Casbah Club. Simon, Mark and Bruce played a stunning set of new and not-so-new Simon Townshend material.

Biggest downer of the day was the price of beer. £3 for a can of Guinness!

Biggest upper of the day was the surprise guest. Roger fucking Daltrey himself.
Even though he has been busy with a week's events at the Albert Hall for the Teenage Cancer Trust and last night was the final night, Roger, the biggest Who fan around, still found time to come in and say hello. He also, after badgering from us, sang two songs with Simon. Off the cuff (and incomplete) they may have been but it shows what a diamond geezer he is. To travelacrosss London at that time of day just to show his appreciation for us just demonstrates what a great guy he is.

Nuff arse licking.

Had to leave before the end because i was effing starving so went and had the spiciest chicken in the world. My arse is now paying the price. (that may be the Guinness, come to think of it.

Evidence of which is below. Not my arse -me drinking Guinness