Bring it on, you northern tossers.

Ok, quick potted history of this year's football.

West Ham United - my fav team - were doing really badly. They were on the point of finishing in the bottom 3 and therefore, getting relegated to the division below. But, they won a bunch of games at the end and managed to saty up. With me? good. BUT. They signed a couple of players from Argentina and it turns out they did it illegally. So they get fined £5m. A lot of people thought this was too lenient and called for them to be deducted points. Anyway, one of the teams who finished below them -and got relegated to the division below -are challenging the matter in court, in a hope that West Ham will get relegated instead. Still with me? It matters, because there is about £50m involved in television rights.

Right, that's not the point of my post.

The point is: this other team -Sheffield United - have a famous celeb supporter, who is going to go to the politicians and complain to them! Sean Bean -famous for...erm...hang on...oh, yeah, being a baddy in a James Bond film.

God, he looks gay.

Firstly, i'm surprised such a backward team has a famous supporter, secondly, i'm surprised he admits it. Thirdly, i'm dissapointed he is going to the politicians.

So to raise the stakes, as it were. We'll see your Sean Bean, and raise you a Ray Winston (Who connection, anyone?) , A Danny Dyer, A David Essex and to top it all, Frodo fucking Baggins. (Elijah Wood made a film called Green Street, which was about an American getting caught up with West Ham's hooligan supporters. )

I intend to invite Mr Bean (heehee) to a fist fight with Ray Winston (still not got the Who connection???) Winner's team stays up. BRING IT ON.

If by some stretch of the imagination Sean Bean beats Ray Winston ( i know, it's just me being stupid) then Frodo will kick him in the nuts.