By popular demand

Ok folks. some of you still come here to read what Delbut is up to. Sue even suggested that i should "make something up like i used to". Sue, everything on here is true and factual. I've never made anything up.

Today's topic is the Olympics. Seems team GB has had one of the most successful Olympics -ever. We are third only to the Chinese and Americans. Yeah, we are beating the Aussies. Whoohoo.

Now the realistic bit. We have won most of our medals either in or on the water or on a push bike. Mmm. Considering we are surrounded by water and have had the wettest summer on record and most of the in-land area consists of very large puddles and, just as importantly, because we have run out of petrol, we are now cycling everywhere, how could we fail?

All other events that rely on: throwing things, lifting things, hand/eye coordination, shooting clay objects, punching people, running around in circles, running a long way, jumping over things in the way, any ball game, dressing up in leotards, bows and arrows -well, everything else really-we are still pretty crap at.

What we need now is another conflict with the French so we can brush up on the archery and shooting skills and maybe ask the Romans, Angles and Vikings to invade us again so we can practice the running away bit. We have got too comfortable in peace time so Delbut's answer is: full-on WAR. I intend standing on a cliff at Dover and showing my naked arse to the French while doodling a beard on to a photograph of Edith Piaf. That should do it.

P.S.
Is it wrong to watch the female swimmers for more than their aquatic ability?