Friday, July 27, 2007

Me on a good day


Play your cards right and you could wake up to this every morning.
nuff said.
Update 29/07/07
Gee, thanks for all your concern here peeps. this is what you get when you heroically defend a maiden when she is in trouble. Or playing that most stupid of all games -cricket, which is the real cause of my shiner.
I was thinking of making up a story of large-breasted women loosening over-filled FF cups while bending over me in an erotic manner but...who would believe that.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Yet another Tag

This Tag was over at Bex's. i was bored, ok?


My roommate and I once: Never roomed with anyone except when on tour with a bunch of footballers. We did once –in a hotel in Manchester - move a large wardrobe in the corridor to cover the doorway to the room next to ours. When getting back from a night on the beer, our next door neighbours couldn’t find the room. We giggled for a while then moved the wardrobe to our doorway, took the back panel off and got about 12 of us into the room. We waited for an opportune time i.e. a bunch of japanese tourists to turn up and then we all existed the cupboard to the open-mouthed stupification of said Japanese.

Never in my life have I: Jumped off a very tall building without a bungee rope and survived

High school was : The bestest laugh I’ve had. 5 years of mirth and merriment with very little to show for it in terms of grades.

When I'm nervous : I smoke too much, get bad wind and if it’s sexual nervousness, get my excuses in first.
My hair : Used to be Brown. Is now Brown and Grey and not all still present.

When I was 5 : I was nearly 6. oh, and I broke my elbow when I fell out of a cherry tree. My dog ran home to tell my mum. Seriously.

When I turn my head left : I get a funny clicking noise. Old football injury.

I should be : built in the trouser department like John Holmes be as rich as an Arab Sheikh.

By this time next year : I will be older, have a dick like Katey Holmes and have enough money to buy a milk shake.

My favorite aunt is : The richest one without children
I
have a hard time understanding : Most foreign languages, women and the instructions that came with the xbox 360

You know I like you if : I sleep with you

My ideal breakfast is : Prefferably in the morning when I get up and will consist of a large cup of tea, a fag and then some food –maybe.

If you visit my home town : You will probably get mugged by a Polish waiter and decide that this place is a shithole and like me, will move about 3 miles up the road to a nice little village.

If you spend the night at my house : You will be expected to flash a bit of flesh by “mistake” when you walk through my living room on the way back from your bath/shower.

My favorite blonde is : Not from a bottle and actually realises that there is someone else in the world apart from her/him

My favorite brunette is : One that realises that being bottle blonde is not good, big or clever and will not get you noticed more.

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds : Is this a trick question? Do you mean beside as in: not including, or besides as in, next to? I think seeing a bird and a cat flying next to each other would be quite a laugh.

I shouldn't have been : Spanked when I was a kid for nicking my sister’s money to buy fags.

Last night I: had band rehearsals and came home all sweaty. Nice. And slept .

A better name for me would be : Clive

I've been told I look like I – clint Eastwood, Paul Newman, robert redford –you know, all the plain-looking guys.

If I could have any car, it would be : A new concept car that ran on verbal bullshit and turned invisable when I went over 70 miles an hour and which had a button that when pressed, would create my own virtual motorway so I wouldn’t have to sit in traffic jams.